OK, so here’s a new and random feature. I’m going to call it “Stuff Kirsty Does” and use it for all the knowledge that doesn’t fit neatly into the affiliate sphere but which I think will greatly enrich the lives of my readers. Mind you, I think that the purpose of my exciting new section will probably end up (unintentionally) being the demonstration of the extent to which I am mad as a brush.
So without further ado…
How To Grow Your Own Pineapples
Now don’t snort in derision here, I know I live in Queensland which makes the business of Pineapple production a lot easier but they can still be grown as an indoor plant in colder places.
Step 1.
You’ll need a Pineapple from the supermarket with its stalk still attached. Once you have obtained your fruit, grab the stalk and twist it sharply to remove it. You should have something in your hand that looks like this: -
Step 2.
Your pineapple top is already a little plant complete with mini roots just waiting to find moisture and start growing (gosh darn they are clever!). All you have to do is expose them. To do this, just peel off the leaves at the bottom of the stalk until you uncover little brown nubby rootlets. They will look a lot like this:-
This example was from a pineapple that was ripened on the plant and which I’d bought from a farmer at a local market which has probably allowed the rootlets to develop a bit more before harvesting. I’ve had supermarket pineapples that didn’t have such prominent rootlets. These worked fine so don’t worry if your Pineapple doesn’t look quite like this. I’ve just found one growing in our garden where Duncan rather lazily buried the contents of our compost bin when I asked him to move it. After 6 months underground it’s recently sprouted into life. Very impressive!
Step 3.
Pop your pineapple head in a jar of water so that the part without any leaves on is submerged. Don’t let any more of the plant get underneath the water else it might start rotting / go mouldy. A lot of places I’ve read advise against using jars of water, saying that it’s better to let them dry out for a day or two then plonk them right into the soil. They are probably right but I’m a big kid and I like to see witness the roots growing for myself. 
In the Queensland climate here’s what my pineapple looked like after just 4 days sitting in a jar of water in my garden: -
Cool eh?
Step 4.
Once your roots have grown to a size you’re happy with / the novelty of watching it grow has worn off you can think about potting your new plant up. I usually wait until mine are about this much grown:-
You won’t need a terribly big pot as Pineapples are quite shallow rooted plants and don’t need heaps and heaps of soil to do their thing. Mine are growing quickly in the QLD heat. Here’s one I potted up at the start of November: -
Fabulous progress already! It’ll take about 2 years to actually produce any fruit and this particular species will grow to about 1m in diameter. In case anyone is wondering I’ve been propagating these to replace the front hedge Duncan and I ripped out a few months ago. Not only will it make a nice cheap way to cover a bit of ground, when my plants finally fruit it’ll look damned funky. Here’s what a pineapple plant in fruit looks like: -
Should make for a pretty cool driveway!
I imagine that in colder climates it will take a pineapple plant a lot longer to produce fruit and it goes without saying if you decided you want to get in on the game and grow one yourself that it’ll take a bit longer than here in Queensland. I reckon its a bright and fun way to brighten up any affiliate office though so why not give it a go? We could give out prizes at the end of the year for whoever grows the best one.
I’ve been excitedly anticipating reaching this significant number for the last 10 days and have been continually footering about in my Analytics account trying to work out if I was going to make it or not during one calendar month instead of in the last “31″ days, which isn’t quite as satisfying for some reason.
