*gasp* Shock horror murder polis! Yes folks it’s time for one of my rare negative posts! However, as the title suggests it does lend itself to a follow up post with 10 things I love about this industry so never fear, balance will be achieved in due course 
1. Affiliate managers who contact me dead keen to “work more closely with you and build a great relationship” and immediately ask “is there anything we can do to help you?” Upon taking delivery of my modest request for bestsellers info and regular contact re: new products I promptly never, ever hear from them again!
2. People who are rude / sarcastic to newbie affiliates on forums in situations where they really don’t need to be. What gives with that?
3. Merchants who re-jig their databases putting in place new cutting edge technology which will not only revolutionise your conversions but will break every single image and link you’ve ever previously created for them. They are then mysteriously unable to implement URL redirects and contact you wondering why your conversions have turned to poop and asking you to pull your jolly well socks up.
4. When you have to complete an online assault course and answer 5 fiendishly difficult riddles that’d make a sphinx go cross eyed and head on back home – just to get a deep link from a network (OK, I exaggerate but you know what I mean!)
5. Affiliate managers who schedule a conference call with you and then don’t listen to a word you are saying, constantly interrupting you to get their point over. Look, if you mean you want to schedule a monologue call with me – just send a tape recording and I’ll swear at it at a more convenient time for me!
6. People from outside the industry thinking I’m a pornographer when I say I market things online. I dread that knowing look and the “Ahh… I SEE.”
7. Still not being able to switch off from work sometimes. For all that I harp on about how fab it is only working 4 days a week, I often make up most of that time when I “nip on” to the PC for a wee while “just to check things out” on evenings and weekends and leave Dunc sitting wondering where the hell I’ve gotten to.
8. Little known fact: – Affiliate Marketing causes time dilation. Why else can I plan enough work in a single hour to last Duncan and I a bloody year?
9. The “I’ll make you rich if you buy my course for just $4,000″ brigade. What a bunch of arseholes – they make us all look dishonest, rip off people who can least afford to lose money, and I for one sincerely wish painful bowel complaints and a host of embarrassing and smelly illnesses on the lot of them.
10. Meeting people at networking events who think I work for an agency. Because I own a pair of boobs.
11. Being so far away from all my affiliate pals 
Yeah OK, I know that’s 11 but the last one is just a moan not a real “hate”.
Anyone got some other affiliate marketing grudges they might like to air?
August 10th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Excellent post Kirsty and one that reflects my frustrations too (except maybe the boobs bit, although the moobs are coming along nicely
)
One to add * Excellent articles like this are often missed on the A4U Forum and do not get the backing they deserve *
Back it here folks >>> http://www.affiliates4u.com/feeds/58475/10_things_i_hate_about_affiliate_marketing/
August 10th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Ha, a great article. I can relate to most of your points from personal experience.
Especially point 6. People assume, because I’m a chap, that because I have an internet-based business its either related to Facebook or to porn. *sigh*.
Dan
August 10th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Got over the ‘what do you do’ question – I now say I’m on online catalogue and take commissions on any sales – just like ye old time catalogue agents – job done
August 10th, 2009 at 11:07 am
1. Some merchants want to help until they hear that what’s need require time and effort on their behalf. It’s at this point the “great relationship” ends promptly.
2. I’m using the forums less and less nowadays sadly. Don’t feel its the great resource it once was.
3. Can’t comment as I’m only starting to use feeds. Better late than never
4. Don’t get me started! 1 network I have asked for over 18mths for a simple deeplink tool. Constantly told that it will be developed. Drives me mad!
5. No experience of this, as I work on MSN mainly.
6. People from outside thinking I’m an “Online Avon Lady” when I wish they thought I was an online pornographer
7. 100% agree. Little spark in mind means a quick 2 min Notepad session that ends up running into hours of researching and “tinkering”.
8. Only 1 year!?!?
9. Nice!
10. I have the same problem! Gotta hate Moobs!
11. Don’t you even dare!
…. 12. Forgetting business is business. In the past 18 months, I seen changes in some “Super Affiliates”. Nowadays I watch my back a lot more closely with certain long standing affiliates after being gently prodded in the back on occassions.
Thankfully these are outnumber by old-timers, who’ll continue to be friends with and have a mutually beneficial working relationship with.
Chin up!
August 10th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Great post Kirsty, very funny and no wander you win awards.
I can understand some of those frustrations even as a newbie.
Some of my hates may be due to my inexperience in the industry.
My top 3 (can’t think of 10 off the top of my head) would be;
1. Google – love them when they’ve placed you at number 1 for weeks and then really hate them when they google-slap my site and drop it to page 8. It’s a ball-ache trying to find out why.
2. Merchant Feeds – why can’t they use the same field names? I suppose I should really get better with MySQL
3. Payments declined without a valid reason.
I’m sure I’ll have more gripes as times goes on, but there is so many plus sides to being an Affiliate
August 10th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Always a reader but not a regular with comments
.
Number 1 is a must for me. I dont tend to work with too many merchants, yes I know I shouldnt put all my eggs in one basket – but I ask for similar information or ask them to make a new sized banner – do I hear anything back? – diddly-squat!
August 10th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Can I add another….
13. Closed group, brand bidding for voucher sites. Yeah its true! A voucher site has been allowed into a closed group to brand bid. What chance does ANY affiliate have with this merchant now?
August 10th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
I’m so with you on #’s 7 & 9. I can’t turn it off ever, which probably explains why I’m always tired. And the rip-off artists pretty much makes it hard for the rest of us, especially those of us who haven’t achieved anything close to self sufficiency, distrustful of almost everyone.
August 10th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
I’ve been reading your blog for a few short weeks and you do make me giggle
I can empathise with the forums comment (I don’t even go near them because they are so catty towards affiliate newbies) and the owning a pair of big breasts goes hand in hand with people thinking I work directly in the porn industry, as well as the industry vibe.
I’m afraid your my primary source of reliable affiliate info for the moment
.
x
August 11th, 2009 at 8:41 am
Great post!
@Laura – you could do alot worse!
x
August 11th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Great post once again K! 1 drives me nuts too though it does make you appreciate good aff managers even more.
@Laura I agree with Katie, Kirsty is full of good advice for affiliates at different stages.
August 11th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Great Post – Agree with every single point, especially number 2. I recently pushed a few new merchants/affiliates to join A4U and they were attacked for no reason at all by people who don’t seem to do anything else than attack newbies.
August 11th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
The deep linking assualt course, this so anooyed me last week after half an hour of crap I gave up and thought B******S to the merchant. I found I could deep link ONLY if I enter preset dates PAH!
August 12th, 2009 at 12:35 am
Ha ha ha… great responses there everyone, especially Chris who clearly put a lot of thought into his!
@Laura I’m very glad to help!
@everyone else, thanks so much for commenting – I miss it when people don’t “talk back” after my posts!!
August 12th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Top marks Kirsty, number 7 particularly. The cry in our house is often, “What ARE you doing on that bloody computer?!”. Different story when she has to research shoes though.
August 12th, 2009 at 10:51 am
I am a new affiliate manager, and I have offered 1. to our affiliates to try and get some responses for how I can improve the program. Only one affiliate ever replied to me. Guess it works both ways! Or maybe we just need more affiliates who actually care about making money, like you guys seem to……
August 12th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
I recently asked a merchant, who’d emailed me asking me to promote them more, if they had any unique content.
“Yes we have” they said. And that was it.
I did wonder if I wasn’t clear enough in my request, as I didn’t actually specify that I would like some unique content off them to push them more…
August 13th, 2009 at 1:29 am
@Ben – yes it’s a bit of an internet affliction isn’t it?
@James – Yes you are, of course, right in your comments. Mind you, perhaps so many affiliates have heard the question before only to discover the real question was “what can we do to work more closely with you so long as there’s no work involved for us!!”. I have sympathy with you as I was also an affiliate manager once
@Diane LMAO!!
August 13th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
@Kirsty – thanks for the reply! Ok, I admit my knowledge is very low but I’m a new guy trying to make moves really, can you offer any tips for me or alternative methods?! I don’t want my affiliates to feel like I’m spamming them! lol.
Oh, and your site has been wonderful for me, have spent many hours reading through most of the posts already. Thank you.
August 13th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Well done on another interesting AND entertaining post Kirsty.
At AW we are constantly educating our merchants (and AMs) as to what actions make for a good affiliate relationship, but it’s an ongoing process. If you ever have an issue specifically with one of our programmes please drop me a line and I’ll do what I can to help.
From a technical point of view hopefully you find our deeplink builder, create-a-feed, FireAW and tidd.ly all of use when creating merchant deeplinks. If you (or anyone else reading this post
) has any other suggestions for additional tools then we’d love to hear them, simply drop us a line at support@affiliatewindow.com.
August 13th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Good post. I am new to this game so can only relate to 7 & 9 so I guess I have the others to look forward to.
August 14th, 2009 at 11:41 am
yeah No.9 is annoying – but hey fools and their money and all that. If only people realised that all the info is out there for free on great blogs such as this. Even Google turn out all the SEO tips you need.
After that it’s down to hard work, some thought and of course, a bit of luck always helps!
August 14th, 2009 at 11:53 am
@James Are you planning on attending any networking events this year? If so, speak to your network and grab the details of a range of your affiliates (i.e. the big ones, middles ones and smaller ones) and arrange to spend some time with them individually at networking events.
You have to remember, some affiliates like myself, are in this part time, despite being involved in the industry for 8+ years – and as many know, my decision is through choice. When I get home, after a normal 9-10hr day, I have 100+ affiliate related email to plough through and some how find time for a life too.
1 email from a merchant will undoubtedly go amiss. Try altneraitve ways of contact – but as I say, remember some do work fulltime so phone is not always best.
I guess what I am trying to say is don’t give up after a sinlge attempt.
August 17th, 2009 at 5:14 am
YES… To all, Im EX TD don’t hold that against me. But honestly working from a café on the Sunny Coast or Bryon Bay makes up for everything….
August 17th, 2009 at 6:03 am
Ha ha ha Dean, no we won’t hold that against you. You are, of course, right about all the good points making up for the bad points.
Don’t forget to give us a shout the next time you’re passing through the Sunny Coast (as you do!)
August 18th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
@Chris Thanks for the reply, I appreciate your input.
I have been working in online marketing for about a year, but was very into hte web thing as a hobby when I was younger, and made decent money via ad networks like Valueclick and other banner servers if anyone remembers them lol. Basically my rambling point was I understand EXACTLY where you are coming from, as I was in the same boat as working / running a site. AM is VERY new to me (work now involves all aspect of online marketing), and well, to be frank, the toss up is between professionalism and speed -
In the ‘old’ days, I would fire an email saying – hey, want to link exchange, my site has this many uniques a day and this is a traffic report / screen grab. Thanks.
Bang – job done.
Whereas now I’m trying to send emails with a bit more substance, in order to stay professional. However, especially in this market area, I’m finding that because there are so many (unfortunately) dodgy sites around howver you send your message, you get snapped at. Also, I didnt used to SELL products on my website….. I’d say that whenever you sell something, it appears the lines blur a lot more easily.
I’m very glad for information sources such as this one though!
August 20th, 2009 at 11:02 am
hopefully the follow up article will get as many, if not more, replies – or does moaning attract people more?
no such thing as a perfect job; so long as the good outweighs the bad, it’s all fine
have to say, after so many years in the business and having worked with so many marchants, agencies and networks, Kristy, I would have expected you to have developed antibodies to the stupidity
August 20th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
[...] Affiliate managers will get something out of Kirsty McCubbin’s blog post “10 Things I Hate About Affiliate Marketing” and affiliates should be able to relate to the post. Kirsty follows up with a positive post about 10 things she loves about the business, but for now here are 2 of her 10 pet peeves. 10 Things I Hate About Affiliate Marketing [...]
August 20th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Great post…but if I can only add one, here it is.
Merchants who feel its ok to give someone else a higher commission because they sell more, as if what I sell through my site isn’t making them money, and wheres my incentive to push them more when I know they are paying other affiliates more then me.
August 21st, 2009 at 6:22 am
I cannot stand it when i tell someone what i do and their response is can you teach me?? I mean, I get this from some of the laziest, slowest people I know. What the hell makes them think they have the energy or ability for affiliate marketing? =)
August 21st, 2009 at 10:07 am
one of them i hate about affiliate marketing is that there are so many successful and experienced affiliates who rarely share their wealth of knowledge with others
August 21st, 2009 at 9:32 pm
I am relatively new to this. I am trying to get more information. Some of the affiliate stuff looks pretty sleazy.
September 12th, 2009 at 12:07 am
[...] the “5 Things That Make My Affiliate Life Easier” post by Rae Hoffman, and the “10 Things I Hate About Affiliate Marketing” one by Kirsty McCubbin. Both of these posts are must-reads for every affiliate program [...]