G’day (or should I say “Och Aye The Noo!!”) and greetings from me sitting jetlagged on my Mummy’s couch in Bonny Scotland.

I got in yesterday afternoon and I’m feeling pretty damned good actually.  I employed some new techniques on my latest longhaul adventure which meant I had a pretty decent time of it in the dreaded Economy Class.  I thought I’d share these with all you guys as I am feeling remarkably good for someone who has just spent 24 hours sitting in a space just slightly larger than a tea tray!

• Noise Cancelling Headphones - You have to buy them,  a total must have.  Not only do the movies sound better but they block out a lot of the background noise that ends up really wearing you down.  Oh, and screaming children!
• iPOD loaded up with Audio Books - I’ve used this before as I put them on when I want to go to sleep.  Nice soothing narration at low volume combined with my new headphones meant I was pretty oblivious to what was going on nearby when I wanted to sleep.
• Take a massive big pillow and HUGE fleece blanket. Yes, a lot of people did laugh at me both in the Airport and on the plane when I turned up with a cosy bed in a massive bag.  But then I got 7 hours fairly solid sleep and they didn’t, so they weren’t laughing when I was sending up the big Z’s.  I even had a dream!
• Use The Business Class Toilets - The way Emirates have their planes set up, the business class loos are located behind the forward galley.  They leave the curtain open so they can get in and out, and this means the sneaky economy traveller can dash forward for a bit of business class loo time.  No queues as their presence is not advertised to the rest of economy by way of a green light.  Rejoice in the floral arrangements, revel in the presence of genuine towels with which to wipe your hands, and enjoy higher standards of cleanliness which mean you are a lot less likely to stand in mystery liquid on the toilet floor in your socks (yerrrcchhhh).
• Melatonin Herbal Supplement - I took a melatonin supplement every few hours during my journey and I slept much more soundly / easily both during the journey and last night when I got home to Mum’s.  I usually wake up at 4 or 5am and can’t get back to sleep when I’ve been flying.  This time, I got 12 solid hours and woke at 8.30am feeling pretty darned good.

Sorry if you were hoping for an affiliate post, but this is the best I can come up with under the circumstances and perhaps some of you will find it useful, ha ha ha.

Just as well I am feeling good.  Today I’m driving up to Stirling to go on a Hen weekend prior to my good friend Kathryn’s wedding and Duncan will be paintballing and generally hanging out with the rest of the stag party at the same time.

More “Affiliate Stuff” from me when I recover fully!

That’s right folks, we’ve been expanding our interests in Australia and today a job applicant came knocking at the office window.  He doesn’t say much I have to say, but he has spent most of today throwing some interesting shapes onto my office desk which has had a fairly huge impact on my productivity.

So without further ado, meet my new mate Sid who has been spending all of his time sitting not more than 2 feet in front of me today.  What a good looking Aussie!

Editors health warning…. *Ahem*  If your name is Chris Clarkson or if you’ve not enjoyed other posts about things that have scared the bejeesus out of me you might want to close your eyes now

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Sorry about the picture being blurry at the bottom, its just that Sid here is rather large, and didn’t have the decency to position himself at an easy to photograph angle.

Internet research has turned up the fact that he (or she) is in fact a Net Casting Spider - Deinopidae is his Sunday name.  Some of his fans also refer to him as the “Ogre Faced Spider”  the reasons for which I don’t know because I’m not up for inspecting him with a magnifying glass.  Not to worry though, the above link will graphically demonstrate why he’s not known for his handsome appearance.

In his favour I must say that unlike recent visitors he’s not poisonous nor will he try to perpetrate any bites upon me.

All I can say is thank the lord for flyscreen!

Ahhh…. well, we flew back in from our holiday in New Zealand the day before yesterday.  After 3 glorious weeks over Christmas and New Year its time to put the affiliate nose back to the revenue grindstone.

Duncan and I had a great time spending Christmas and New Year with his extended family and generally seeing a bit more of the gorgeous New Zealand scenery.  It might be a small country, but boy do they ever pack some beautiful stuff in there.

Because I know many of you are cold and freezing, I’m going to be really horrid and show you some of the piccies from our wee trip!

Boxing Day - My First Ever Cricket Match!

My new in-laws tried to convert me to the intriguing world of Cricket by taking me to the boxing day 20 20 match.  NZ V’s West Indes. As you can see, I was more interested in the behaviour of the cricket hooligans.  I’d no idea people got arrested at Cricket matches and had a jolly old evening watching people being forceably removed from the terraces.

Oh, and NZ lost in a nailbiting playoff at the end.  That was quite good too (but a bit of crowd trouble would have spiced it up no end!).

Visiting Family Friends For a BBQ Lunch

This place puts our humble home to shame.  What an amazing view to have from your house!

New Years Day - Off To The Beach

Yep, we spent New Years day at Gorgeous Piha Beach on the West Coast and climbed Lions Rock.  We then stayed on and had a bit of a BBQ on the beach, and watched the sun go down….

Ahhh… it was terrible.  Good food, fine wine, and natures splendour in all its glory to begin 2009!

But It’s All Over Red Rover… And Back To Work

My first day back at work has actually been pretty good.  I was up with the birds (well, you can’t help that actually they’re rather loud!) and got into starting to revamp and restructure my Lingerie Site for 2009.  I’ll be adding shedloads of new content from new merchants and am determined to create a huge shopping resource.

I hope to be coming up with all sorts of interesting posts for the blog in 2009 and already have heaps of ideas for all new and exciting affiliate-related content, fun, and the usual old nonsense from me.  Do please drop me a line if you have any good “Ask Kirsty” questions.

Take care everyone, and here’s to a productive 2009!

Ahhh…. well, a few days ago loves young dream arrived back in Australia all jetlagged and grumpy.

The new Mrs Mckenzie apologises for a month long silence.  Unfortunately for you guys my new husband implemented a “no work on honeymoon or I am divorcing you” policy.  So them’s the breaks I’m afraid… no blogging was allowed.

Upon our return, we discovered what 10 weeks away does to a quarter acre of rainforest garden and house roof - covers it in an inch of leafy debris!    Consequently we’ve just spent 4 very sweaty days variously clearing roofs, guttering, footpaths, ponds, and flower beds of a surprising volume of rubbish. We’re not even half finished yet. Oh, and lets not forget the small matter of catching up on my Christmas promotions!

The Honeymoon….

Was fabulous and relaxing though, here’s a few wee piccies of the part of our trip that was beautiful Railay Beach, Thailand.

I really, really have to learn how to fold up my towels like this… how impressed would visitors be if you did this to their beds?!

This is me visiting a local shrine, and yes those are what you think they are.  As you can see, I was scared to touch anything in case they were fertility symbols. Apparently though, they bring fishermen home safe from the sea.  Quite how they do this is still a mystery to me, perhaps if all else fails they use them as life rafts?!

Ahhhh……. my favourite beach!

It really was a very beautiful time of things!

Now…

We’re back home and I’m working away furiously again trying to create a bit of extra Christmas fiscal joy to help replenish the old bank account again after all our recent adventures.  Things are starting to get back on an even (ish) keel so I hope to be chatting to you all regularly once more.

It feels a little odd to be married, but I’m sure I’m not unique in that sentiment.  For the record, I will very much be remaining “Kirsty McCubbin” within the affiliate sphere / world of work… Mrs McKenzie will only be my name on evenings, weekends, and special holidays

Finally…

If you have sent me an “Ask Kirsty” in the last ten weeks I’ve probably not replied. It has been a frantic time for me to say the least, and I just couldn’t concentrate well enough to respond.  Aplologies to all of you who have asked questions and not gotten help.  Please do re-send if you’ve not found an answer elsewhere!

Greetings fellow affiliates!  What do you mean “who are you?”  It’s me - Kirsty!!!

Well, after darned near losing my mind (as all brides to be seem to manage) I have to say that Duncan and I had the best day of our entire lives. The ceremony was amazing, the bridesmaids were beautiful, the champagne flowed… and get this… the sun shone.

We had a beautiful holiday straight afterwards in gorgeous surroundings which we both REALLY needed,  thanks to Kieron’s Kindness and Chris from Sunshine.co.uk.  From the bottom of our newlywed hearts, thanks to both of them for really being very topping blokes - it made an already special time simply perfect.

I’ll be back blogging and generally getting affiliate things back on track from today onwards, so I hope to be able to get some decent posts filtering through once again.  I feel so “out of touch” when I leave the blog to it’s own devices.

Next stop for us is the most excellent A4U Expo… can’t wait to see old and new faces there.

In the meantime, I shall let these pictures do the talking as I gently float down from the cloud I’ve been perched upon for the last 9 days.  It’s all a beautiful, beautiful blur!!

Signing the register, and before anyone asks the soft toy was knitted by my beloved Grannie.  It’s a lucky sweep, and a family tradition!!

The most beautiful bridesmaids in all the world - am I just paranoid or are they laughing at me?

Shit… does anyone know how to reverse park this thing?

Always at my happiest surrounded by men in kilts. Woo hoo!!

Didn’t take long for the groom and best man to start acting up, did it?

I take care of my own drinks service… Note BLUE SKIES and SUNSHINE in Scotland!!

Wow… it’s all looking very dignified, isn’t it? Want to see what happened after Duncs and I drank many glasses of champagne and a few whiskies?

I had a funny feeling you would!!

What a perfectly matched pair!

Hello Folks, well I had hoped to still have time to chuck out some well reasoned blog posts when I was in the run up to my wedding.  Hah!  I’m sure those of you who have already taken the plunge will realise the delusional nature of that belief.

And I thought coming home was going to be fun?  Oh deary, deary me… it’s not been dull.

I have always been someone who suffers from stress, but this really is something else.  I have chest pains, I can’t concentrate, and although I haven’t yet lost my temper about anything it gets harder to maintain my composure each and every day!

So what’s going to set me off in the end?  It’ll be one of the following: -

• None of my carefully procured undies fit me. This has led to the discovery that I am now sporting a stupidly rare bra size after losing weight.  My beautiful lacy (and comfortable) bridal bra and knickers had to be replaced with the one bra in Debenhams that would fit.  Horrible?  Of course!  An instrument of torture in the comfort department?  You betcha!!  This is a bra more suited to a female Gestapo officer than a lovely bride.
• My wedding dress is a different colour to the one I tried on in the shop. It transpires this is a common thing to happen as the display dresses tend to get “warmer” in colour due to being touched a lot, tried on, and generally getting a little grubby.  Before I ordered it would have been the time to find that one out!
• My shoes don’t match my dress. This means I had to buy another pair (for the third time).  That brings my tally to 1 x pair hideously uncomfy, 1 x wrong colour, and a grand total of £95 on bloody shoes I’ll never wear.
• I’ve just been informed I can’t dance backwards in my wedding dress. What?  I can’t what?  How am I going to get out of people’s way?  How can we do our first dance??? What if someone takes me out to the dancefloor and knocks me over simply by trying to give me a bit of a twirl?  The dress shop told me you could get hoops to go underneath a wedding dress. Advised me one might make me look too short in my rather flouncy number. Did they tell me why it might be a good idea from a personal mobility point of view?  No!!!  Not until it was too late to rig something up so that a simple step backwards didn’t result in me being on Funnyest Home Videos for the next 15 chuffing years!!!!!
• It won’t stop raining - At this rate we will need to buy a small ark to ferry our guests between the lavvy and our marquee.  Please, please, please, can someone turn the water sprinkler system off in Scotland?!?!
• My hen night - I know absolutely nothing about this.  I don’t know where it is.  I don’t know who is coming.  Is not knowing fun?  Unfortunately, it isn’t.  It should be exciting, but alas the old stress levels are too high.  That said, just about anything will stress me out right now, so I’ll probably really enjoy it at the time.

Anyhoo, I’m going to stop my list right there.  I can assure you that is just the start.  The in-laws begin to arrive in the area from Monday on so more fun will ensue.

My only comfort?  My stress levels are teeny compared to those being shouldered by my dear old Scottish Mammy, who looks like she’ll need a triple bypass any day now.

So… Normal Service Will Resume…

After I’m back from honeymoon!

See you all then for me talking sense instead of all that bridal nonsense.

Cheerio for now folks.

xxx

Well folks. We’re off to the airport in Brisbane in a few hours, ready to come back home and get married!

To say that Duncan and I are nervous is a bit of an understatement. All I can say is I’m not surprised brides are famous for losing lots of weight just before the big day. I’m in a permanent state of terror and there are still 19 days to go.

The good news is that we moved into our new pad 5 days ago and it is absolutely amazing. The former owners left the place positively gleaming and even came back yesterday to fix a leaky tap they’d discovered just as they moved out. And they say there are no nice people left in the world. Michael, the former owner, even gave Duncan a free lesson in how to change a tap washer!

If you haven’t seen pics of the new place, I posted them here a while back.

The Only Downside To The New House Is…

We’re gonna spend a LOT of time sweeping up leaves.

As you can see, Duncan is a big fan of occupational health and safety. Note the extremely safe bar stool (which has a swivel top) he used to get himself up onto the roof. I wonder if now is a good time for a life insurance policy? Hmmm…..

On the plus side, I love the view from my new office. I think I’m really going to love working in this space!

So for now guys, this is Au Revoir. I don’t arrive in the UK until Friday and there will be jetlag followed by frantic bridal preparations. I’ll try to blog, but I’m sure you will all forgive me if it ends up being a rant about colour schemes, tiaras or anything else that gets under my skin. I’ll try to retain my common sense, but who knows? Better people than me have turned into Bridezilla in the week or two before their big day!

Cheerio guys!

You know that feeling you get when you walk back into your house after a really long flight and you look around and say “Thank god I tidied up before I left this place. It’s so nice to get back to a clean house”?

Next time you think that, I want you to think of me. Because that’s exactly what I thought when I staggered into my apartment extremely late at night upon my return from Auckland the other day. I’d just spent several hours crammed into a row of seats with Duncan, and the biggest Pacific Islander I think I’ve ever seen. Not only was he large, but he didn’t know how to work the in flight entertainment. He spent 3 hours variously accidently calling for the flight attendant and switching the reading light on and off as he jabbed randomly at buttons (despite our best efforts to help the poor chap out!).

So when we finally got back home…

“Ahhhh. Thank god.” I thought.

“Look at my nice tidy house” I preened.

“I’ll have a nice cup of tea, perchance a choccy biccie to help me relax” I decided.

So I open the cupboard door. And I just stand there for 30 seconds in the half light (kitchen bulb had blown), looking in. I was too tired to understand what I was seeing as I clutched my teabags absentmindedly. A tiny voice in the back of my head was making remarks like “This isn’t right Kirsts.” “Funny texture there” and the thing that finally awoke me from my stupor…

“What’s that smell?”

Well, ladies and gents… the smell was THIS…

EEEEEKKKK!!!!!!!

Can you believe a single bottle of self combusting Pizza sauce did this? We’d only bought it 3 weeks ago and it clearly sat in our larder fermenting before creating a Damien Hirst on the inside of our larder door! It smelt just like BBQ vomit. Oh, happy days.

What jolly fun Duncan and I had dismantling the cupboard and cleaning it and all its contents the following day. I suppose it was just God’s way of saying “Not been to church for a while? Tired? Irritable? Emotionally exhausted? Good. Now cop this!!”

Setting A Precedent…

And the above picture is a pretty good analogy for how we feel now that we have gotten home. Work is all over the place, we’re staring down the barrel of finalising our house purchase and our wedding… and we have a clue about precisely none of it.

“Splat” - Yeah, that just about covers our state of mind this week - However, panic ye not we are slowly pulling our affiliate and personal socks up and getting organisatory. So coming soon will be shedloads of well thought out affiliate posts and lots of great news about how organised we are with everything.

Oh, and finally we’d like to introduce you to our new family pet. His name is “Sonic Boom”.

It’s never quiet round here is it?  Well, I’m sitting with a splitting wine headache contemplating speedily packing my bags for our extremely early morning flight to Auckland tomorrow.

Surprisingly, my hangover is directly related to my unexpected impending travel.  Unfortunately Duncan has had some sad family news, and we are flying over to attend his Grandmother’s funeral after she passed away yesterday.  So last night Duncan was understandably having a bit of insomnia, and I decided to sit up with him. I know it’s those 3am moments that can really get you at times like these, so I made sure I was there when 3am came around!  Rather foolishly I passed the time by drinking wine.  Lets just say we were both up till extremely early this morning drinking and talking about things. Heavy handed measures abounded.

As usual, Duncan seems to have gotten away without much of an after-effect and I’m recoiling from bright lights, sudden movements, and loud noises. We’re up at 5am tomorrow to drive to Brisbane Airport.

We’ll be gone for a week, so there may or may not be posts from me depending on what transpires.

So just in case… I’ll catch y’all in a few days!

Man the lifeboats, it’s official - I’ve just looked at a calendar and totally crapped my load! What’s happened? Where has they year gone since my first post about arranging my nuptuals? What’s happened to having bags of time to get it all done?

Oh No, We’ll Never Be Ready In Time!!

Apart from feelings of being ready for marriage (are we really old enough for this? lol), we’ve somehow still got loads to do after a very strong start last November. In case anyone didn’t know, we had to change venues late last year after some licensing issues - basically meaning the whole do had to be re-organised from start to finish. Not a good feeling!!

So after all that, and in case y’all want to offer to drop everything and come and help us, here’s a list of things we’ve not yet done.

• Chosen the menu.
• Sorted out how the ceremony will be performed.
• Chosen the music for the ceremony and for us to arrive and leave to.
• Chosen or practised our first dance.
• Sorted out a wedding gift list. Or thought of anything to put on it.
• Sorted out a beautician or decided on hairdos.
• Bought the jewellery and accessories for the bride and bridesmaids (Including Bridezillas tiara).
• Groomsmen. Hmmm… we’ll need some of those!

OK, that is but a small sample of what we need to get done. My poor old mother is having to take a week off her work to get the wedding invites mailed out.

Procrastination Syndrome…

And us? We can’t bring ourselves to do a damned thing. Between affiliate marketing and buying houses we find ourselves feeling stacked. The thing is, it’s the fine details we’ve not sorted yet that can make or break a wedding.  But I’m so damned busy with affiliating I don’t know where the time to arrange it all comes from?

Any words of motivation, advice, or offers of free wedding planning services in exchange for exposure on my blog (which is not at all relevant to weddings) would be much appreciated.

SOS!!