As always in affiliate marketing, its amazing how much difference a month can make. Just a hop, skip, and jump of the calendar ago Duncan and I were just back from honeymoon and I was starting to worry that Christmas trade might never arrive. I was longing for all those UK shoppers to lose their sense of reason and melt those credit cards like always.
Realising I had a lot to do if I was going to fully capitalise on the Christmas affiliate joy when / if it arrived in these credit crunchy, gloomy times I promptly started working furiously. And that’s what I’ve been doing ever since. I’ve been pulling 12 to 14 hour days since we got home.
I’m pleased to report that I clearly knew what I should do (which I doubted at times after 3 months off) because I’m having my best December ever.
“Woo hoo!!!!!!”
Should be how I’m feeling, but like Joe Connor (who can’t “Barsed” with Christmas) and Lee McCoy (who’d really like to get some sleep) my satisfaction at another good year is tempered with a state of total knackerhood. My own personal condition is also compounded with a distinctive lack of any festive spirit of my own whatsoever.
I have to say this is the first time I’ve ever felt like this. In previous years, the endorphin rush of all that fabulous money arriving in my affiliate account has had me rocking around the office like a manic Noddy Holder shouting out “iiiitttsss Chhrriiiiissstttmmaaaaaaaasss!!” at random.
However, this year I imagine I’m joining a few other affiliates in wandering around uttering the odd “Bah Humbug!!”. Perhaps its been the stresses and strains of the uncertain sales climate.
I was at our local mall earlier today and Duncan tells me it was hell going to the festive shops with old Scrooge McCubbin here who was in a right old foul mood as soon as she caught sight of all the Christmas shoppers and tinsel.
I have no alternative but to diagnose myself with the dreaded “Affiliate Scrooge Syndrome” which is a little known psychologial disorder which eminates from over-preoccupation with other people’s Christmas shopping.
The Symptoms
- Total lack of desire to do any kind of Christmas shopping. Duncan doesn’t know, but he’s getting a gift token for the petrol station this year.
- I’ve sent no Christmas cards whatsoever. And I’m not gonna. So there!
- I’ve started grinding my teeth in time to Christmas music.
- There’s a venomous spider in our Christmas tree and I’ve decided to leave it there because it is pleasingly ironic.
The Treatment
- I’ve been wondering if my lack of festive spirit is related to being in a tropical climate when I should be huddled indoors enjoying 3 hours of proper daylight every day. So….
- Tonight I’m shutting all the doors and windows and setting my aircon to “Polar Winter”.
- I’m then going to build a cheery log fire. Marshmallows will be roasted and flanelette jim jams will be worn.
- A double dose of Terry Pratchetts Hogfather Movie will be applied at top volume – Stat!
- I will operate the animatronic rudolph plushy toy my friends 3 year old gave me for Christmas and revel in its rendition of “Winter Wonderland”. I will further marvel at the beautiful flashing lights atop each one of his cute little horns.
Merry Christmas to affiliates one and all! See, I’m trying 
December 12th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Duncan will not know whats hit him tonight! Have a good one!
December 12th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I’m so with you on the symptoms!! (except for the spider)
I’ve sent no Christmas cards, I whince at the sign of Christmas decorations and whilst out just for a spot of lunch I thought “I wonder when will be the first year I won’t hear “I wish it could be Christmas every year!”" And then thought if I they don’t celebrate Christmas in Israel and can we go there on honeymoon next year?
I kid you not!
The last week I’ve only done a smattering of Christmas work as I’ve completely lost interest!
December 12th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
p.s. I did start the Christmas site in March though, so perhaps I’m allowed my “Bahh humbugs?”
December 12th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Good luck with the simulated Chrimbo Kirsty. I am absolutely knackered as well but have finally bought a few pressies, still more needed.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
I’m also feeling incredibly unchristmasish, but started online shopping tonight – only to discover some Letterbox links are definitely not tracking – Affy Window have certainly got a dose of nontrackyitus this year – bah, bloody humbug
December 12th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Ahhh… I’m glad its not just me everyone. Mind you, Lee sounds like he had it worse than any of us. Been at the Christmas promotions since March?
Honeymoon in Israel it is mate!!
December 13th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Excellent post Kirsty, glad I’m not the only one!
It’s difficult to feel Christmasy when you spend long days updating Christmas offers etc which is a bit unfair on her indoors but there you go!
December 16th, 2008 at 10:45 am
I think being an affiliate this year you need to be clever, I read an interesting post about cashing in on popular things at this time of year but apparently the top selling christmas gift is borats swim wear – which is hard for anyone to get excited.
P.S. We were supposed to go to Aussie this year for christmas but as you said christmas in the sun.
December 24th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
[...] previewed this one!). Clearly doing much better this year as I’m not displaying any of the scroogy symptoms as per last year. Did You Find My Article Useful? Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social [...]